LETTERS TO THE HUMAN RACE FROM THE CAT (HB)

Dear Human Race. It is with much regret, and a huge sigh of frustration, that I am writing this letter. You are unpredictable and inconsistent, often behaving in a way that is illogical and frankly unhygienic (all that touching). My fellow felines and I have put pen to paper and paw to keyboard to help you understand where you've gone wrong: the food you give us, your insistence on having other cats (and even dogs), your bizarre toilet habits and much – oh, so much – more.